Some weeks are more DESPERATE than others....

So I'm hoping and praying and planning for a calmer week. After getting 2 new kids in 2 weeks time, we are trying hard to settle in, but the challenges are formidable. Not to mention that the February Slump is soon upon us.

What's the February Slump, you ask? You know, that period of time between winter break and spring break, when the weather isn't yet inspiring, and it seems everyone gets alittle grumpy.

Check out www.Teachers.Net/Gazette ---go to Current Issue, then scroll down and find the snowman---to read more on my take...... I have a plan, now I just have to DO IT!!

Time enough for the mud to settle......

Do you have the patience to wait
till your mud settles and the water is clear?
Can you remain unmoving
till the right action arieses by itself?
LAO-TZO



Sometimes you hear that teaching requires the "patience of Job". Most people who say this seem to be referring to our ability to tolerate the particular problems of handling young people OR the institutionalized problems of education itself.But when I think of being patient, I have something else in mind.

It can take some children a very, very long time for some skills or concepts to develop.

I have to ask myself, am I less than a good teacher if my students'learning takes awhile?

It's certainly true that learning is unpredictable. It often doesn't make itself known in the specific time frame alotted in our concise teacher's editions. Moreover, I wonder if there mitigating circumstances to which we can point in order to excuse the length of time between confusion and mastery? Or am I just trying to rationalize away my incompetence? What's the point of hurrying through a list of specific lessons if I don't take the time my students' really need? But what of the consequences for moving too slowly?

As we settle into February and look ahead to high stakes testing, I am giving myself permission to slow down just a bit to make sure I am working in tandem with my students' needs, rather than against them. I vow to sit a bit and think hard about my techniques and supports, so that the time I do have is well spent. Mostly, I promise to honor the role of time in this complicated game called teaching. If it is necessary, I will wait until the "water is clear".

My Rose Colored Glasses.....

Well, THAT dark mood is gone (see previous post)....thank goodness.

Today I enjoyed a much more constructive mood, the kind of positivity that makes some folks wretch. I mean, I sometimes get flack for being TOO optimistic. Once, years ago, a woman I worked with actually glared at me one afternoon, then cursed at me for greeting her warmly as she returned from her lunch break. "I should only have to say hello nicely to you once a day! No need for all this smiling. What are you so happy about anyway??!!"

An IA I worked with a few years ago, an avowed morning hater, often snarled at me as I prepared for the day WITH A SMILE ON MY FACE!!

I can't help it. The prospect of meeting each of my kiddies every morning makes me happy. I have the gift of a "short memory", so I never really hold a grudge or swim around in my worry. Every day is another opportunity for a miracle.

Sometimes, that miracle is just making it through the day. And I'm okay with that.

But today, as four of us were leaving the building at day's end, we nearly growled our goodbyes at each other. That's what being emotionally depleted and physically exhausted will do to you.

Thank goodness we had 15 hours to get refreshed and ready for our next happy day together.

If only I could say.....

It's true: being the teacher of emotionally disabled children isn't all fun and games. Crises and chaos are always on the horizon. The high intensity work environment weighs hard on one's heart.Consequently, it takes special effort to keep from getting depressed or burnt out. As I've mentioned previously, I meditate some, pray alot, laugh about as much as possible with my commrades-in arm, and do things like write this blog. But sometimes, the dark clouds descend.

When I feel blue, I like to imagine what I'd say or do... if I weren't so professional, loving, and ultimately optimistic!! In fact, it would feel pretty darn good to say this stuff out loud:

"I wish someone would give you a good bubble bath, and get behind your ears and under your nails."


"I sometimes worry you'll grow up and come back to this school and slash my tires.... or worse."

"I worry your parents might do the same."

"At some point in your future, you'll pull up a memory of me, your first "big school" teacher; I only hope it's not while you are languishing in a jail cell. "

"I wish I could tell your abusive parents what I really think of them."

"I am saddened and appalled at how little my guidance and love has had on changing your day to day life."

Luckily the dark clouds are temporary, washed away most often by a child's hug or smile. There is no need to dwell on my worries. But it sure feels good to put them out there, to make real the honest emotions created when my day to day life is so doggedly rough and tumble.

Let's figure it out..... AND Thank you!!

Our challenge is to meet every kid's needs. It's a puzzle, of course, an often overwhelming task that has serious and long term consequences.

Today, our staff will be meeting in grade level teams to figure out one key to one part of the puzzle..... how are we going to support those kids who are not reading on grade level? How will we get them where they need to be?

We'll be analyzing some data about DRA testing done at the end of last year. We'll be sorting out those kids who are in need of remediation. We'll be ascertaining where our instruction has been weak and needs tweaking. We'll be concentrating on making changes that impact kids' learning tomorrow, and the rest of this year.

I hate a useless meeting, but I'm thinking that this one will provide me with information and guidance that will improve my instruction. I hope so, at least.

I'll keep you posted.

Until then, enjoy this photo from Virginia Tech's ThanK the World event held this weekend on the drillfield in Blacksburg. My family and I participated, and it was a heartfelt expression of our gratitude to all who prayed for and supported us during the April shootings and beyond.

A note of appreciation!

Tomorrow we lead teachers are throwing a little breakfast for our fabulous instructional assistants. Bagels, donuts, juice, etc..... not elegant, but we hope it says what we mean: we are so lucky to have you as our teaching partners.

Instructional assistants work really, really hard in our special program. They teach groups of children, implement (and help create) complicated behavior management systems, provide therapeutic support to kids in crisis.... It's a lot more than running copies and cutting out art project templates.

So here's to our IAs. Thank you for giving so much of yourself to our kids! Thank you for being so dedicated and hard working!!!

Thank you for being you!!

Okay, so I've been remiss..... again

I guess it's normal to go through periods of neglecting one's bloglife. Still, I hate seeing that September was the last time I gave this my attention. So let me refocus my goals and set to work on this, my next new beginning...

I continue to struggle with creating a behavior plan to support one of my favorite darlings. As a team, we decided some visual cueing was in order, so I did that. We're concentrating even more on preventative strategies, and consistent consequences, etc. I'm working hard to keep our relationship "trustworthy", that is, a relationship where he really comes to believe that I mean what I say and say what I mean.

The daily tumult continues. Sometimes this is a very tiring job.

Thank goodness I really really like this child!! It does help that I care for him and his family, and I believe they are trying too. Their effort counts for alot when I have to get up everyday and try to sort out the best way(s) to support a child in so much turmoil.

This week we will continue to tweak and revamp in hopes that we find just the right equation. No time for complaining or backpeddling or throwing up our arms in frustration. We will get this right.... if not this week, then eventually. And if not eventually, we'll find a setting more suitable, more effective for this child.