Sunday, December 09, 2007

If only I could say.....

It's true: being the teacher of emotionally disabled children isn't all fun and games. Crises and chaos are always on the horizon. The high intensity work environment weighs hard on one's heart.Consequently, it takes special effort to keep from getting depressed or burnt out. As I've mentioned previously, I meditate some, pray alot, laugh about as much as possible with my commrades-in arm, and do things like write this blog. But sometimes, the dark clouds descend.

When I feel blue, I like to imagine what I'd say or do... if I weren't so professional, loving, and ultimately optimistic!! In fact, it would feel pretty darn good to say this stuff out loud:

"I wish someone would give you a good bubble bath, and get behind your ears and under your nails."

"I sometimes worry you'll grow up and come back to this school and slash my tires.... or worse."

"I worry your parents might do the same."

"At some point in your future, you'll pull up a memory of me, your first "big school" teacher; I only hope it's not while you are languishing in a jail cell. "

"I wish I could tell your abusive parents what I really think of them."

"I am saddened and appalled at how little my guidance and love has had on changing your day to day life."

Luckily the dark clouds are temporary, washed away most often by a child's hug or smile. There is no need to dwell on my worries. But it sure feels good to put them out there, to make real the honest emotions created when my day to day life is so doggedly rough and tumble.

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