Tunnels, lights, and a universal truth....

So much went well today, and I plan to take a moment to enjoy that.

Aaaaah.

Don't get me wrong, it was NOT a perfect day: we worked through two major blow-ups, and one of them lasted over an hour. There was whining, manipulating, sassy-talk, and even a little mild violence.

On the other hand, I saw "higher order thinking", considerable extra effort, and smiles caused by work satisfaction (not revenge).

I'm feeling the inelegance of these first weeks slip away. I actually feel lighter, more open. Less tentative.

It's education's universal truth, a reality often forgotten in the moment: The crazy-paced and mind-numbing challenges of the beginning of the year are short-lived. There IS a light at the end of the tunnel.

Sometimes,however, I let the long path through the tunnel get me down. But for now, that dark trip appears to be ending.

Balance, Brauts, and Blacksburg.....

When in the course of the day I feel a bit like crying; when my bruises are blue and yellow and purple and sore; when I'm so drained as the children head for the buses, I can barely think about planning for the next day ..... then I am sure it is time for a change.

Since school started some 3 weeks ago, I awaken at 5:30 am, and am on the road by 6:30. I've been arriving at school early to be ready--really ready---for the day. I'm lucky if I get home at night before 6pm. Even when the kids are reasonably good, there's committee meetings, subcommittee meetings, clinical support sessions, team meetings..... drama with new, untrained staff members who think the kids are simply bratty.... It sucks the life out of you. And I am old enough to know better.

Where's the balance?

And I'm not the only one. There are dozens of teachers scampering around all glassy eyed and slack jawed.

So my quest for "happiness" has hit a bit of a snag. Tomorrow is Friday. It's another football weekend in beautiful Blacksburg. Happiness will find me there. I'll be balancing a mimosa in one hand and a braut in the other. Go Hokies!

Beginnings

It's two weeks into the new year, and I have moved past the happy optimism of the first few days, through the renewed commitment stage where I pledge to do everything I can to provide the support my new kids need, and I'm now rolling into exhaustion. It doesn't help that our new school hours make my already long commute even longer. Gratefully, I have discovered the value of Tylenol PM; sadly, I have been purposely ignoring my wonderful husband. Yes, it may be a new year, but not much has changed.

I get tickled everyday by some amazingly cute thing one of the children does. I feel great about the lessons we are doing; my new IA has a lovely way with the kids. This is the stuff that keeps my going.

Back to School Night was a bust though. Only 1 set of parents showed up; one set did call to send their regrets. No word from the other 6 kids' parents. I dressed up for nothing. Oh well.

Some other news from the trenches: A kid has already been sent home for bad behavior, we've had two fire drills in two weeks, and my new shoes are still not broken in.

TGIF.... Have a good one!

From Graceful Presence Blog

This poem took my breath away... literally. So beautiful, especially as that awful anniversary approaches. I am inspired to breathe out joy and love and learning each and every day in my classroom and beyond.





Wage peace with your breath.

Breathe in firemen and rubble,breathe out whole buildings and flocks of red wing blackbirds.

Breathe in terrorists and breathe out sleeping children and freshly mown fields.

Breathe in confusion and breathe out maple trees.

Breathe in the fallen and breathe out lifelong friendships intact.

Wage peace with your listening: hearing sirens, pray loud.

Remember your tools: flower seeds, clothes pins, clean rivers.

Make soup.

Play music, memorize the words for thank you in three languages.

Learn to knit, and make a hat.

Think of chaos as dancing raspberries,imagine grief as the outbreath of beauty or the gesture of fish.

Swim for the other side.

Wage peace.

Never has the world seemed so fresh and precious: Have a cup of tea and rejoice.

Act as if armistice has already arrived.

Celebrate today.



Judyth Hill

More prep for the first day of school....

Newly purchased outfit selected with care... not too casual, not too stuffy.
School supplies packed in the new bag placed conspicuously by the door.
New haircut and other various self-care procedures completed.
Alarm clock checked and rechecked.... no technical snaffoos tolerated.
Makings of a healthy breakfast set out.

Ready for my first real day of school.
Just like when I was 9.

Boot Camp for Teachers

It's the end of teacher week, and I left my classroom late this afternoon with a light heart and a smile on my face. Why so happy? My room looks great, for one thing. My IA is bright and eager. My teammates (the other ED teachers) are committed, focused, and fun.

I am so ready for the start of school year 2009/2010 on Tuesday morning.

Teacher prep week is a kind of bootcamp, a week of meetings balanced against hours of lifting and stacking and labeling and organizing. It's the dramatic moment when your class list is revealed; it's the panic that sets in when you see how many tough cookies are on that list. It's the feelings of hopefulness that rise to the top because, after all, it's a new year, and you never know, the kids might have matured over the summer. Hmmmm...

It's coming in early and staying late. It's the emotionally draining process of advocating for yourself against colleagues who need to schedule pull-out or push-in times, all the while wanting to throw a stapler, or a punch. It's poster making, lesson tweaking, laughing, sighing, whining.

I am glad it's over.

Enjoy the long weekend. Rest up. It's going to be a happy new year!

Today was our first official back-to-school day for teachers. I've been to my classroom or to meetings at least 5 or 6 times since mid-August, but today was the day all of us were back in the building. I love the electricity, the positivity that crackles around us on these first wild days. The trick is to try to find a balance between important information meetings and working on getting the classroom ready. It can be tricky, and if we are not prepared in either area, it's a terrible way to start the year.

Still, working to find this balance is so much easier when we are all tanned, refreshed, and smiling!

I also found joy in the excited anxiety of our new first year teacher. He is soooooo ready, and he's going to be absolutley great, but he has his doubts. That's understandable. Likewise, back slapping with the other old veterans was fun. We look good for our age, of course-ha!- and look forward to a productive year.

Also, kudos to the administrators who condensed a series of informational meetings into a "Virtual Opening" whereby we teachers read/listen to the welcome speech and other introductory info about our school from the comfort of our own computers. Very convenient, very user-friendly.

Tomorrow..... back at it, and with a smile on my face... at least for now!!

Teachers without teaching degrees???

As my daughter so aptly puts it: WHAT THE FRENCHTOAST??

DO DOCTORS NEED MEDICAL DEGREES?
DO LAWYERS NEED LAW DEGREES?
DO COMPUTER SCIENTISTS NEED COMPUTER SCIENCE DEGREES?

These headlines are unimaginable, I would imagine, and yet the NYTs has posted an article titled:

Do Teachers Need Teaching Degrees?

Come on, aren't we past this? Are we still having to justify and beg for a little respect? Sadly, the answer is yes.

Of course, we are our own worst enemy. Teachers aren't expressly known for our work ethic... (although we should be!!), but those nasty summer months "off" tend to bias the public against us. Teachers don't reflect a particularly corporate demeanor, and for many folks, corporate equals professional. The media doesn't always show us at our best--check out HBO's new series Hung, for example. The lead character is a forlorn coach/social studies teacher whose better days are long behind him.... and now he resorts to prostitution to work his way out of the rut of a life he has built by default. The message is clear: teaching is for losers. The young and attractive female teacher is a secret sex maniac; elementary teachers are lightweights who just like to color and read stories to kids; high school teachers wish they were anything but.

A close read of the NYT article reveals that the real issue is whether masters of education degrees should be rewarded with increased pay, OR should student performance be the barometer. This, of course, is a different question altogether.

Do teachers need education degrees? Absolutely YES.
Should these degreed programs be improved? Absolutely YES.

I've blogged about this many times over the years, and I stand firm in my belief that most training programs are long on theory and WAY TOO short on practical experience, especially with regard to managing the classroom experience. In today's climate, where every teacher must be, at some level, a special ed teacher, the demands of our profession have never been as taxing.

DO JOURNALISTS NEED JOURNALISM DEGREES?
(Of course.)

The Power of "NO"

On my continuing exploration of the UNCLUTTERER's Plan for a Remarkable Life.. (see July 28 post)

#6. "Say No to the stuff that doesn't matter...."

Where to start? Well, what DOES matter comes to mind so easily.... most educators can easily think about student achievement and consider the important elements that create, support, and improve it. It's usually a fairly linear process: I can say yes to staying late or coming in early to better organize my three different curriculums in various skill levels, using research based teaching strategies. I take the extra time to learn the complicated new technologies that promise to streamline my IEP writing (I complain, but I learn.) Mentoring new teachers, working most evenings at home, sharing my classroom management expertise with my peers--YES,YES,YES.

What to say NO to?

NO mindless griping.
NO gossiping of any sort.
NO wasting time checking my email more than 3 times a day.
NO trying to do everything on my own.
NO to anything that refocuses my attention away from my students and their success.

And if we accept that a happier teacher is a better teacher --- is there real research on this?---this year I vow to say yes to
*Getting to know 3 people I don't already know well.
*Thanking more often the ladies who provide admin assistance.
*Take a few minutes of my rather short lunch break to be alone, quiet my mind, breathe in/breathe out. Breathe in again.

#4: Determine What Matters Most To YOU

Still exploring the UNCLUTTERER's list (see previous posts) for creating that remarkable life we all want...

When 7 of our staff members took time out of their busy summer to meet for over 2 hours to hash out ideas for new procedures and routines: .....

When we 7 committed to focused communication, transparency, and COMING TO SCHOOL EARLY ALMOST EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK to facilitate this communication......

When we applauded our colleagues' new COOL IDEA, and gratefully decided to employ it throughout our special ed program, even though it means spreading ourselves a little more thin in some ways.....

Then it's clear we 7 have determined what matters most to us: our students.... and by that I mean not just the students in our own classes, but all the students in our special program.

Teamwork
Kid-focused

Dedication

It's going to be a good year!!!

Being selective in a cluttered world....

Rule #8 : Remove everything that is toxic in your life, because that which is toxic is clutter.....

The remarkable list in the post below has given me some guidance as I move through these last weeks of summer... and boy, did it come in handy this week when I was reminded again of the power of all things TOXIC.

Toxic people break your heart and your spirit.
Toxic food zaps your energy, starves your body of what it really needs, and ultimately makes you bitchy.
Toxic thinking is limiting and unproductive and risks all that you love in your life.

For years I've counseled my interns to be selective about how they use their "free time". During their first year of teaching I want to empower them to choose who and what they think is important. "Be extra kind to yourself" I remind them again and again. The stress of that first year can be crippling.... yes, toxic. Instead of freaking out, "sleep, take quiet time for yourself, eat healthy, and celebrate your little successes."

Good advice for an uncluttered life...

Planning for a Remarkable Life

As I continue to seek balance between (crazily) focusing on "getting a head start on school stuff" (see previous posts) vs. getting calm and centered and rejuevenated before school begins, I believe I may have found a path....

UNCLUTTERER: Having it All...

This amazing blog just might salve to kook in me that wants to do school stuff everyday AND the part of me that knows I absolutely must take a breath and pull away from school so I will be ready for school.

Here's the bloggers plan for a "remarkable life":

1.Purge, downsize, and minimize

2.Organize what you CHOOSE to own and use (emphasis mine)

3.Commit to and maintain a streamlined routine for the mundane tasks of your life

4.Determine what matters most to you

5.Remind yourself that even if you live to be 100, life is short

6.Say no to what doesn't matter

7.Enjoy being industrious (again my emphasis)

8.Get rid of everything toxic in your life, because toxic is clutter

9.Live within your means (and I might add, try to get pleasure from it)

10.Take risks and be brazen

11. Get enough sleep (Hey, I'm 51, overweight, and perimenopausal.... sleep is the bomb.)

So over the next few weeks, I will explore the power and the pleasure of becoming Uncluttered. Will this be the preparation I need for a productive, uncluttered new year? We will see....

poems, sweet dreams, and thinking of school...

VaTech's own Nickki Giovanni's new book of love poems, Bicycles, has given me something calming and enjoyable to do as I MAKE myself settle in for the last few weeks of summer. I giggled when I read her ode to beer: I wish I liked beer. I see the ads with the happy people golden drops swimming dwn to quench that thirst....

And then I read this recommendation for sleeping away the last weeks of break. It may have been written with a lover in mind, but to me it speaks of my love for teaching and for my students:

My Sleep
by Nikki Giovanni

I appreciate my sleep
In sleep my conversation
is witty
My home is dusted
My office work
is up to date
the dog
is even
well behaved
And food is on the table
on time
But then
when I'm asleep
I don't have you
to clutter and confuse
My hungry heart

"I always forget how important the empty days are, how important it may be sometimes not to expect to produce anything, even a few lines in a journal. A day when one has not pushed oneself to the limit seems a damaged damaging day, a sinful day. Not so! The most valuable thing one can do for the psyche, occasionally, is to let it rest, wander, live in the changing light of a room."

- May Sarton
Journal of a Solitude

I have to keep this in mind as I lose precious moments of my summer break planning and preparing for fall. I move between honoring my time off from school, and taking each day to get ahead of the game...I just can't decide....

Blogging from PBS Training

Giving attention today and tomorrow to our efforts to create and tweak the Postive Behavior Support program at our school. While the self-contained ED classrooms have had great behavior programs for years now, our gen ed classes continue to face what teachers face in classrooms across the country: distractions caused by disruptive behavior impede academic success, office referrals skyrocket, and behaviors don't seem to improve. To interrupt this spiral, PBS seeks to reorient the learning environment from reactive punishment toward preventative programs that teach,reteach and reinforce appropriate behavior.

We need teachers to refocus their efforts on doing that which increases the probability that positive behaviors will be repeated.

Sounds logical; still, because poor behavior continues to dog our educational system, a whole cottage industry has developed to support school's reorientation toward this point.

My date with a representative from that group continues through tomorrow.

"Corridors of Shame"

“… There is no stronger weapon against inequality and no better path to opportunity than an education that can unlock a child’s God-given potential….Yet…there are overcrowded classrooms, crumbling schools, and corridors of shame in America filled with poor children-black, bown, and white alike.”

So President Obama reminded us in his speech to the NAACP last week. He knows that the obstacles that poor and minority students face in their own schools are an embarrassment for every American. He highlighted important reforms, including improved early learning programs, and focused teacher programs that promote excellence and send bad teachers packing. I applauded when I heard him describe these new law and policy changes; I smiled when he called for higher expectations for every child. “We need a new mindset, a new set of attitudes” to fight an “ internalized…sense of limitation.”

But I really joined the Amen chorus when he seemed to channel his inner tough talking Bill Cosby: We parents “must accept our own responsibilities. That means putting away the Xbox and putting our kids to bed at a reasonable hour. It means attending those parent-teacher conferences, reading to our kids, and helping them with their homework….Yes, government must be a force for equality. But ultimately, if we are to be true to our past, then we also have to seize our destiny, each and every day.”

Of course I see parents of all colors and creeds who, despite good intentions, fail to help their children “seize the day”. It’s easy to accept excuses for this neglect, but the president reminded us that if “John Lewis could brave Billy clubs to cross a bridge”, or if brave civil rights workers faced down death for what is right, then surely we can reform education. Surely we can muster family and community support for behaviors that lead to academic success.

The question then becomes: How will I motivate my students and their parents to adopt and embrace pro-school, pro-academic thinking? If only Obama’s words were enough.

More on this as the start of school gets closer…..

Summertime.. and the living is easy...

The power of summer break on this teacher’s soul cannot be overstated….

There is something magical about awakening naturally in the late morning hours (sans alarm clock), and lolling around in bed with my sweet dog Caye. I hold dear summer’s unhurried, blissful morning routine that does NOT include a frenzied trek across town in pre-dawn darkness; instead, I happily consider which mall to shop, which recipe to cook up, and which book to read. These weeks fill me up in a way that teaching and all its joys cannot. It’s a good thing too, or I might never make it back to the classroom each August.

What teacher does not yearn for summer’s respite when the testing gods bear down in late spring? When two or three of my most difficult kids are in tag-team crisis mode, I call on my memories of sun, sand, and a tropical cocktail to get me through. Reminders of an evening stroll along the boardwalk or down the garden path can soothe the mark left on my calf by an angry six year old.

But then, summer finally comes, and I CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT SCHOOL!
I can’t stop dreaming about their sweet smiles. I mentally plan new “getting to know you” activities. I seek out new professional books and internet resources. I worry about what the kids are up to in these unstructured weeks. I check my school email once a day for no good reason.

I actually look forward to August.

For now, though, I’ll sip my mojito and reapply the sunscreen. Only 6 more weeks til school starts again.

Some weeks are more DESPERATE than others....

So I'm hoping and praying and planning for a calmer week. After getting 2 new kids in 2 weeks time, we are trying hard to settle in, but the challenges are formidable. Not to mention that the February Slump is soon upon us.

What's the February Slump, you ask? You know, that period of time between winter break and spring break, when the weather isn't yet inspiring, and it seems everyone gets alittle grumpy.

Check out www.Teachers.Net/Gazette ---go to Current Issue, then scroll down and find the snowman---to read more on my take...... I have a plan, now I just have to DO IT!!

Time enough for the mud to settle......

Do you have the patience to wait
till your mud settles and the water is clear?
Can you remain unmoving
till the right action arieses by itself?
LAO-TZO



Sometimes you hear that teaching requires the "patience of Job". Most people who say this seem to be referring to our ability to tolerate the particular problems of handling young people OR the institutionalized problems of education itself.But when I think of being patient, I have something else in mind.

It can take some children a very, very long time for some skills or concepts to develop.

I have to ask myself, am I less than a good teacher if my students'learning takes awhile?

It's certainly true that learning is unpredictable. It often doesn't make itself known in the specific time frame alotted in our concise teacher's editions. Moreover, I wonder if there mitigating circumstances to which we can point in order to excuse the length of time between confusion and mastery? Or am I just trying to rationalize away my incompetence? What's the point of hurrying through a list of specific lessons if I don't take the time my students' really need? But what of the consequences for moving too slowly?

As we settle into February and look ahead to high stakes testing, I am giving myself permission to slow down just a bit to make sure I am working in tandem with my students' needs, rather than against them. I vow to sit a bit and think hard about my techniques and supports, so that the time I do have is well spent. Mostly, I promise to honor the role of time in this complicated game called teaching. If it is necessary, I will wait until the "water is clear".

My Rose Colored Glasses.....

Well, THAT dark mood is gone (see previous post)....thank goodness.

Today I enjoyed a much more constructive mood, the kind of positivity that makes some folks wretch. I mean, I sometimes get flack for being TOO optimistic. Once, years ago, a woman I worked with actually glared at me one afternoon, then cursed at me for greeting her warmly as she returned from her lunch break. "I should only have to say hello nicely to you once a day! No need for all this smiling. What are you so happy about anyway??!!"

An IA I worked with a few years ago, an avowed morning hater, often snarled at me as I prepared for the day WITH A SMILE ON MY FACE!!

I can't help it. The prospect of meeting each of my kiddies every morning makes me happy. I have the gift of a "short memory", so I never really hold a grudge or swim around in my worry. Every day is another opportunity for a miracle.

Sometimes, that miracle is just making it through the day. And I'm okay with that.

But today, as four of us were leaving the building at day's end, we nearly growled our goodbyes at each other. That's what being emotionally depleted and physically exhausted will do to you.

Thank goodness we had 15 hours to get refreshed and ready for our next happy day together.